Friday, September 24, 2010

Hormonal Overload

**Warning: This woman can go from screaming to crying (and possibly back to screaming) in 5 seconds flat. You could try to be nice, helpful and considerate, but I'd advise you just stay away.**

I feel like I should be wearing some sort of banner that says this to give everyone around me a fair warning. It's as if I have about four different people living inside me right now, and you never know which one is going to appear. "Normal" Nicole is around for most of the time (I think), but then out of nowhere, *boom* here comes "Crazy" Nicole. She's been known to get irritated over the smallest things and flip out. What's worse is I know when I'm being crazy, and "Normal" Nicole is in there trying to restrain the crazy, but she's much stronger and I just can't seem to fight her.

In the span of about an hour this morning I managed to laugh, scream and cry all before leaving the house.

Bailey got new panties a couple of weeks ago and still gets so excited every morning when she gets to wear a pair of the new ones. She always makes me laugh when she squeals with delight over the smallest things (wouldn't it be nice if we are all so easily overjoyed?).

Then I walked into the kitchen and realized that Nick had forgotten to take the trash out. Seriously? There were two full bags sitting in the floor that had also never been taken out to the can, and that wasn't enough of a reminder? Really, I love this man, but sometimes...well, let's just say I wasn't happy. Then I had to get the roast going for dinner tonight since I didn't do everything last night (admittedly, my own fault) and still get ready for work. As Bailey and I were ready to leave, I told her to stay inside while I took all the trash down. I made sure to explain to her that I wasn't going to leave without her (she's going through a terrible phase where she's afraid of being left alone...I did this too as a child!). When I came back in she was crying because she thought I had left. I kind of lost it and raised my voice (okay, maybe screamed),

when I had no reason to. No matter how irrational, this is a real fear for her. It doesn't matter how many times we tell her that no one is ever going to leave her, she still has this fear. I know she will outgrow it, I did, and until then we just have to keep reassuring her.

This would be when I cried.

I just hugged her and apologized and we talked again about how no one would ever go off and leave her by herself.

And now I'm sitting at work feeling emotionally drained and praying that this day goes by fast so I can go home and be with my family; who thankfully love me for me, even when I'm crazy hormonal.


Danielle said...

Oh I feel your pain! I've had many days like these and unfortunately, even after giving birth, I still have them. Last night I fussed at Colin for something so trivial and I rehashed it in my head 100 times last night. Meanwhile, he had forgotten about it in 30 seconds. Ah, the life of a mother!

I hope you have a better day (:

Mama Smors said...

Oh i am sorry.... but you are not alone. being pregnant w a toddler is so hard at times. i agree w danielle- the horomones don't go away after baby so crazy sarah is still making a debut from time to time!! hang in there and have a good weekend.

*just caught up on your other post and am excited about you maybe cloth diapering. i'm going to send you some stuff. we are LOVING it. i wanted to give the diapers a week before i blogged about it.... i plan on blogging this weekend!! tula loves them and so do we! no regrets!

Brooke said...

Aww Nicole! I will be praying for you! While I LOVE being pregnant, this second time around with a toddler and what seemed like extreme hormones... I thought I was going to go insane! I can relate to all of the emotions you spoke of and had days much the same! You are a wonderful mommy!