Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Don't Like You

We've all said these words at some point in our lives. Sometimes we say them out loud to someone else, sometimes we whisper it under our breath and sometimes we merely think it to ourselves. I can remember saying this to my mother. She had just told me that we were going to be moving and I was furious. I was in 4th grade and we lived in a little townhome on a cul-de-sac that was full of children my age. Little did I know we had only moved there so she and my stepdad could save money to build our future home. No matter how nice the house or new neighborhood were going to be, all I heard was "I'm making you leave your friends" and I told her I didn't like her...okay, okay, maybe I used the hate word. I was mad. And angry. And hateful.

Well, now I've had a taste of my own medicine. Granted, my daughter is much younger than I was, and while she does know what she's saying, she still doesn't understand how hurtful some things are. But regardless of her age, when those 4 words came out of her mouth...aimed at me! I was devastated.

We were playing the game Cooties with Brittany and Mike the other night. Now, if you've never played this game, you must understand it takes A LOT of patience, which isn't easy for most adults, let alone a 3 year old. But she likes it, so we played. **I'm sure there are parents out there who would whole heartedly disagree with what I'm about to say next, but oh well...

I don't believe in allowing my child to cheat. I know she's just 3, but I want to teach her now that you can't always win and that it's important to follow rules, even if it's just the rules of a board game. After we had been playing for a good 15 minutes or so, I could tell she was getting frustrated because she wasn't rolling the number she needed. I just kept reassuring her that she had to keep trying and that she would eventually get it. The next thing I know there are tears and I'm hearing "I don't like you" coming from her lips.

I was stunned. I didn't even know what to say next. I sat there for a minute and then decided to ask her why she didn't like me. She said because I hurt her feelings. Okay, I nearly died at this moment. I know she was overreacting but still, that crushed me! I asked her if she wanted to come sit on my lap so we could talk about it, and she told me she didn't want to sit with me. Ow - another dagger!

We did make up not long after all of this started, but my heart was broken. I was sharing this story with Bailey's doctor at her check up the other day and she kind of laughed and told me just to wait until the teenage years, I'd get used to hearing it then!


Keepin' Up With The Rutledge's said...

My daughter was about 4 when she told me that I wasn't a good mom! Like you said, she didn't know how hurtful her words were. We were in the middle of a restaurant and I cried like a baby!

I hope Baily understands now how much she hurt you and it doesn't happen again! At least until you've actually done something for her to not like you!

Brooke said...

Ella said her first "mean" thing while I was pregnant with Grayson. I was devastated and I think I even blogged about it. So sorry! :( It's no fun!